Lending money to family

Family means everything to me and I’m always willing to help in any situation, but some require a bit more thinking than others.

There is no lending money to family. My family is a priority.

Treat money to family as a gift rather than a loan. I would not want to have ill will towards my family if they don't return the money. If the money is given back to you that is great but never expect it or harbor a grudge.

@Shannon, you bring up a good point. I don't have ill will for those who don't return it. However, when I'm lending money in the thousands, it becomes a bit difficult for me to keep up with bills :(

If I lend to anyone, I give it as a gift. If I can't afford it, I say no. Unfortunately, I've been burned by my brother too many times, so I no longer lend to him.

@Edna, setting healthy boundaries is so important. I'm still learning how to do this myself.

This is a heavy subject for me. But, here goes…

I seem to be the family bank. So far no one has defaulted on the loans I'm asked for, which I am very grateful for. These loans have all been small and are paid back within a few months or so. I have no problem warning my family members that if I ever have to ask about being paid back the money I've loaned out, that will be the last time I will provide a loan. BUT! the heavy part is when I've attempted to open up a conversation about money/budgeting with said family members, they are not interested. I'm not preachy. I am respectful and thoughtful in my approach, but still the loan requests keep coming. This can't be good. I don't mind helping but I kind of feel I'm not when these loans seem to be revolving. Any thoughts?

This is a heavy subject for me. But, here goes…

I seem to be the family bank. So far no one has defaulted on the loans I'm asked for, which I am very grateful for. These loans have all been small and are paid back within a few months or so. I have no problem warning my family members that if I ever have to ask about being paid back the money I've loaned out, that will be the last time I will provide a loan. BUT! the heavy part is when I've attempted to open up a conversation about money/budgeting with said family members, they are not interested. I'm not preachy. I am respectful and thoughtful in my approach, but still the loan requests keep coming. This can't be good. I don't mind helping but I kind of feel I'm not when these loans seem to be revolving. Any thoughts?

Hmmm, that really does seem like a difficult situation that you're in, @Diana. Maybe the next time someone asks you for a loan, you could potentially work with them on their budget to see how they could pitch in before you give them amount. Like if they could spare $20 here and cut down $10 there and so on, then perhaps it wouldn't fall too heavily on you to give them the amount they're asking of you.

If I lend to anyone, I give it as a gift. If I can't afford it, I say no. Unfortunately, I've been burned by my brother too many times, so I no longer lend to him.

I don't lend to my brother anymore either. An not just because he doesn't "give back" what he "borrowed", but because when I asked for a little help in return, he ignored me. He allowed my 4 children and I to "go without", yet I made sure yo make sure him, his wife, an their kids didnt have to. So I now I no longer lend or "gift" anything to them.

I don't have experience loaning money to family but I have loaned to "friends". And it was NOT a good idea.

Loaning money to 'friends' is a great way to get rid of people! Just make sure you can afford to let the money go….. That was a hard lesson I learned in my early 20's….

I don't have experience loaning money to family but I have loaned to "friends". And it was NOT a good idea.

These are lessons learned in my mind. Expensive lessons, but at least we've learned from them.

I usually don't lend to anyone anymore because it usually causes problems. IF I do lend I think of it as money I won't see again just in case someone is dishonest about paying back.

I agree!…When lending family money. Consider it a gift or something you can give away and not expect back!……This has been a fall out throughout my family for years and I refuse to continue it!…..If I have it to give I will!

gifts only to family

Do not lend money, unless you can afford to give it. That includes family, friends, associates or whoever.

I agree it is not a good idea to lend money to family

Save your money

agree!

Agreed

Everyone has different situations

Agreed

My mom always said, "my money is your money. And your money is your money." I give it freely and they can pay me back if they can. My grandma even pays back with interest. But it's a heavy subject for me because i know that they both like to gamble.

I will help my friends and family out financially if I can, but if I can't afford it I have no problem saying NO!

I have had a family member default due to covid, what can you do; treat it as a gift and move on

Right,treat as a gift than a loan.