I held the door open for a clown the other day ...

Started by Jason H.
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Deleted user

What time is it when the clock strikes 13?

Time to get a new clock ⏰.

J

Jason H.

I've finally bought the limited edition Thesaurus that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

Deleted user

What did one toilet say to the other tiolet?

You look a bit flushed 🚽.

J

Jason H.

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

J

Jason H.

My neighbour and I became good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.

We got a long well.

J

Jason H.

I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.

She whispered, "They're right behind you".

V

Veronica M.

Do you want to hear a construction joke?

Sorry, I’m still working on it.

V

Veronica M.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, it just waved.

J

Jason H.

I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic.

He said: "Sure, knock yourself out!"

Deleted user

I don't take my dog to the park anymore because the ducks keep trying to bite him.

I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog 🐕.

Deleted user

Do you know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees?

Because elephants are really good at it 🐘.

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