Jason H.
You do realise that Vampires aren't real?
Unless you Count Dracula.
You do realise that Vampires aren't real?
Unless you Count Dracula.
What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock .
I've finally bought the limited edition Thesaurus that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
its cool
Which room does a ghost not need?
A living room .
How does a giraffe find a job?
Through neckworking.
What did one toilet say to the other tiolet?
You look a bit flushed .
How does the Earth keep itself clean?
With a meteor shower.
How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut 🥔.
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
What does a cloud wear under their raincoat?
Thunderwear .
My neighbour and I became good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.
We got a long well.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents .
What do you call peanuts with guns?
Packing Peanuts.
What does a house wear?
Address .
I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you".
How do you measure a snake?
In inches—they don’t have feet .
Do you want to hear a construction joke?
Sorry, I’m still working on it.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved.
I can't find my 'Gone In 60 seconds' DVD.
It was here a minute ago.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk 🥛.
I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic.
He said: "Sure, knock yourself out!"
I don't take my dog to the park anymore because the ducks keep trying to bite him.
I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog .
I was kidnapped by mimes once.
They did unspeakable things to me.
Do you know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees?
Because elephants are really good at it .
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