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Why did the banana go to the doctor?
The banana wasnโt peeling well .
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
The banana wasnโt peeling well .
If you're feeling depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before you go to sleep.
It'll give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta .
I just applied for a job down at the diner. I told them I really bring a lot to the table.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch .
I'm Buzz Aldrin, second man to step on the moon. Neil before me.
Why are ghosts bad liars?
You can see right through them .
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What is a ponyโs favorite juice?
She really likes lemon-neighโd .
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso.
What has lots of leaves but never actually grew?
A book .
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer?
He couldn't see himself doing it.
Why can't you play hockey with pigs?
They always hog the puck .
What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?
Cowboom !
What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?
A private tutor.
Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash .
Wanna hear a joke about paper?
Never mind. It's tearable.
Where do elephants pack their clothes?
In their trunks .
My friend claims he glued himself to his autobiography.
I don't believe him, but that's his story and he's sticking to it.
What does bread do on vacation?
Loaf around .
lol
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on .
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with.
She said yesโthe others were 7's and 8's.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells .
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